The way I like feedback, might not be the way everyone does.

It’s very easy to point out errors and mistakes. Whenever I work with my team mates I try to not just point out errors but make suggestions.

Even if they choose something else I feel like I’m offering helps rather than just complaining.

Not everyone I work with takes the same approach.

Sometimes it makes me feel like they are just being annoying. Pointing out problems and not really helping. At the same time, I wonder if my approach seems belittling to some people? If they think they could have come up with that themselves and how dare I act otherwise.

I’ve asked some colleagues how they like/dislike my feedback. They have seemed positive but I know some people avoid conflict.

I have to trust that they’d tell me otherwise (and tell those colleagues who give me feedback in a way I dislike how I’d prefer that feedback).

it’s all another reason why communication matters (and sometimes that means conflict).

You are fine without advice and suggestions - Austin Kleon 🔗

You are fine without advice and suggestions - Austin Kleon 🔗

But no, I don’t want to instruct step-by-step how the collages are done, because:

1) I’m still exploring the technique myself and I don’t want to codify it or make any rules or make it boring

2) I am certain that if curious commenters sat down and tried to approximate my technique with their own tools and materials, they would come up with something of their own.

I have to admit that I often ask people how they did something. Sometimes I try to do it myself before I ask (leading to interesting results) and on other occasions I try to copy to the letter (and often I fail to reproduce it exactly). I wish I could say those failed attempts always lead to some cool, unique style. More often than not they are just lame attempts. Regardless, the process is always fun (with frustration).

Just created a new keyboard maestro hot key to create a new tab and open a new google doc. Something I do at work multiple times a day and now is one keyboard shortcut and not several clicks and typing. 😎

Another Krakow to Lublin drive completed. Every time I make this s journey I feel exhausted…then I realise that friends in the US might view it as a short drive.

What skills/characteristics do you actually need to listen well?

I’m no expert, but here are some thoughts. 1. Patiences 2. Humility 3. Empathy 4. Attention and focus 5. Memory

Patience

I’ve found the temptation to cut someone off is high, especially when someone is taking a while to get things off their chest. But listening effectively can’t be hurried. The only cure is patience which gets easier the more it’s practiced.

Humility

Real listening is about the other person and not ourselves. It involves not seeking our own advancement directly through getting our way or building social capital. If we really listen, both of those are more likely but not guaranteed. By directly seeking them we impede those goals and the process of listening.

Empathy

It’s important to place ourselves in the other person’s position. It requires us to see the world from their perspective. Listening is not just about finding out the facts of a situation, but finding out the feelings too. They can be more important.

Attention and Focus

It can get tiring when listening. For some of us our minds start to wonder (raises hand) or we see an association and get excited to talk about it (raises hand higher) but thinking about these things can prevent focusing on the matter at hand. Sometimes the person is just about to mention that same thing but we cut them off. Other times they are about to bring up something even more important. Even when what we would offer is valuable, it is almost always better to wait. I’ve found that jotting down the thought in a small notebook can help let that distraction pass and help me to focus properly.

Memory

If someone else is talking for a long time (without your interruptions) it can be tricky to remember all the key details. This is where repeating and rephrasing come in. Doing so helps aid memory and make sure you haven’t missed a key detail. If you repeat what was said but leave out a detail as you don’t remember it, the speaker can correct you.

More?

There are probably more skills that are required to listen effectively and perhaps this is more a list of my deficiencies than the difficulties we all face. So I welcome any insights you have.

A new sketchnote on listening based off the recent Seanwes podcast episode on empathetic listening. Listening really is a superpower.

“I think it is a book of hope,” he says. He’s wearing suspenders and a shirt that matches his lively blue eyes. “Children need hope. You, little insignificant caterpillar, can grow up into a beautiful butterfly and fly into the world with your talent. Will I ever be able to do that? Yes, you will. I think that is the appeal of that book.

‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar,’ By Eric Carle, Turns 50 : NPR

This week’s newsletter is on its way to your inbox. Traveling down the internet super highway. I hope you enjoy it, and I’d love any comments.

Unexpected hospital trip after company go karting trip. Your average Friday.

I was worried that i was starting to run out of ideas…so I needed to go deeper.

I’ve grabbed a Nintendo pro controller. The final push is a work based mario kart competition on Friday. Very important business.