Twinkies don't exist (spoiler, it's not about twinkies)

I’ve never seen a twinky, so they can’t exist. Sure, sometimes one appears on TV in a fictional series or on the news but that doesn’t mean they are actually real. Many of my friends have never seen a twinky either and I suspect those who say they have seen a twinky really saw something else. Even if twinkies were real, which they are not, just because there are some twinkies doesn’t mean all food is a twinky and I’m definitly not a twinky eater. And really, even if there are some twinkies out there, that doesn’t mean I should do anything about it. After all, I’m not a twinky eater. The real problem is those anti-Twinky advocates and protestors. They are the real twinkey eaters and if only they’d shut up about twinkies, maybe we could finally live in a world without twinkies… In summary, twinkies don’t exist.